I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
