Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
