So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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