I can text with my tongue
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
