I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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