when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
This is my gift to your gina
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
