those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
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