when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
