You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
So much Jack, so little girl.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
