The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
No stitches, just platelets and will power
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
