the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
