the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
