I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
