Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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