she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
