I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize
