i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
