I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I wish I could punch you in the face.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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