Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
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