sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
