Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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