Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
