I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Randomize
