Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
