if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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