i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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