It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
