new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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