This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
So apparently I’m into choking now
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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