i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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