escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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