she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
