where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
