The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
