so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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