i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
