Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
we're so committed to being not committed
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
