yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize