have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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