i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
