you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
