ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
