Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
