The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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