'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
