I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Randomize
