A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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