i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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