She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
