I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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